just enough to make me crazy....

2011-08-12T05:45:00.000-07:00

Spooky little mask project

The feeling of a mid-life crisis has passed. A new plan is in the works. Hopefully, involving a clay studio. It has been ten years since I have worked in clay. But I know it's still there inside me...it's in the tips of my fingers just waiting to come out. My super awesome sister-in-law has a wheel she is letting me use. We are working on a kiln and studio space. This is the first time it actually feels like a reality. Already thinking about my favorite combination...porcelain and raku.

This is week three of what I call solitude. The hubby is on deadline. He leaves about 6:30am and resurfaces around 10/11pm. I could literally go all day with out seeing another human being above the age of 8. The thing about solitude is I dig it. I love being alone. I am weird that way. This is how I know I am meant to be living on a secluded piece of land in Vermont with my art and a farm. The longer you are alone the easier it gets. Maybe its easy for me to think because it is not forever.

2011-08-05T10:57:00.000-07:00

Jude sportin' his super cool tie dye he made. I am jealous of his technique. I helped him fan fold it and secure it with rubber bands. Then I let him have at it with the dye. It was super controlled from a kit. Just three colors in squirt bottles. I love how kids are so uninhibited in their creative endeavors. Adults are focused on the final project/results. Kids can get lost in the process.

Ok, now for some honesty. I think I am having a mid-life crisis. Not the 'get a divorce-buy a motorcycle-pierce my ear' kind. More of a "ok I quit my job and what I have done my ENTIRE life no longer appeals to me" kind. I started out teaching art 11 years ago and somehow morphed into a preschool teacher. I don't know what I want now. A studio? A new profession? No profession? How can I be 34 and not know what I want to do with my life? I have never been ho-hum about anything. I am trying to embrace the idea of an opportunity presenting itself. But how hard should I look for this? Doing something with art again would be amazing. But what I really think about is my love for music. Those who know me day to day, know my obsession with music. Even as I am writing this, I am drumming my fingers on the counter, thinking....thinking....Goodness, I love this blog. It provides space for me vent.

Have a great weekend!

Heart and Thoughts, They Fade....

2011-08-03T13:26:00.000-07:00

Jude's heart-shaped road rash

Elizabeth's awesome heart rock find

Mumma's warped heart rock find (so fitting)

August, really? We all say it "where did summer go?" I am pretty sure part of my summer went to putting the slushy kids on the beach through college. Part of summer is on my face in form of a few new wrinkles. Elizabeth is sporting summer in her hair, a green tint from all her swimming. Jude is lovingly sporting summer on his arm in the shape of a heart from his bike injury. Summer is on our forever dirty calloused feet from dancing barefoot on a Castle lawn, tiptoeing across hot sand, gripping barnacle covered rocks. Summer is in our bellies from all the berry picking we did. Part of our summer went to saying 'yes' as often as I could to things like spontaneous play dates, ice cream for dinner, messy art projects, endless days spend life guarding our pool, bike rides, the mushroom park, staying up late. This is the first time I have no pending engagements looming over summers end. Nothing to worry about or plan or budget or schedule. The husband is working like a dog. Late, late nights. My voice may be hoarse at the end of a bad day around here but most days I collapse in my bed, exhausted from spending time with my own kids instead of someone elses....We still have our overnight together at Storyland, my brother's 40th birthday party/pig roast, and maybe a girls weekend for the mama...

bubble run

2011-07-13T15:49:00.000-07:00

Jude and I started this game a few days ago and it is his new favorite. He just runs the length of the porch making bubbles. He likes to catch one and bring it back to me. He also likes to pick out his own clothes. Notice the lovely plaid shorts paired with an inside out tie-dye. We encourage self help skills around this joint. The self confidence gained by dressing himself far exceeds any outfit agenda I might have. Oh how I have changed since my first baby. I love how a simple photo tells so much about what goes on around here. None the less, bubbles are just simple, good fun!

projects, projects, projects

2011-07-11T16:36:00.000-07:00

Well this project did not turn out exactly how I had hoped. I blended two bloggers ideas and created this one. Check these ladies out...here and here Ugly or not? I am leaning towards ugly. My father in law was gracious enough to cut the piece of wood. Maybe he will do it again? I would like it to look more white-washed and I wouldn't add the rust effect. I would also make the line around the clock thinner. It was super fun to do regardless of the outcome. As an artist and teacher, my perspective should be it is the process not the product. I am happy my kiddos are old enough to let me do bits and pieces of it through out the day. I loved working on it last night on my back porch. So happy to be making 'stuff' again. I can actually visualize maybe making real art. This is something I have not done for a long time. Just this little project has sparked the flame again!

The shutter wall collage is complete! I am contemplating filling in the screw holes with wood putty but I kinda like the industrial look. Our bed is now on the floor. Thinking maybe building a platform for it. I have about 8 beams that run across the room. I found a cool old wooden ladder that I stretched across them. Deciding what kind of treatment they should get. I was originally thinking Japanese paper lanterns but they are too big. I think twinkle lights might be cheesy.....

Random Adorableness....

2011-06-24T13:09:00.000-07:00

Oh my it has been raining for a long time over here. And not fun-summer-maybe-play-outside for a little bit rain. It is cold, damp, muddy, miserable weather. So I am trying to find the bright spot and posting some pics of Jude to lighten the mood. We installed our chalkboard in the kitchen and started our Summer 2011 list. Paddle boats is number one....suggested by Elizabeth. I don't even think I have ever been on a paddle boat. My shutter project is under the eaves and on hold until the rain lets up. I have been running this week. Today I was so spun in the woods, I ended up on someone's front lawn and standing next to their big No Trespassing sign, Private Drive. Oops! My Special Needs class ended last night and now I officially have nothing to do. It's weird. Elizabeth has requested I home school her this summer. Today was the first day and we completed the first couple of pages in her workbook. She is a smart cookie but in such a rush. She is so worried about everyone else, she loses focus on her own work. She also over strokes all her letters...multiple times she goes over and over them. I was coaching her a bit on relaxing her grip and letting it go a bit. Geesh! All I can say is come on sun before I lose it!

Shutters

2011-06-20T13:37:00.000-07:00

Old Shutters everywhere! At last count I have 22 shutters. Some I pulled off the side of the road. The others all acquired on freecycle. Love it! On Sunday I had a poor soul digging through all the mistake paint at ACE hardware. We must have looked through 30 cans of paint to get the right color palette for the project. I removed all the hardware and managed not to strip a screw. The hubby's back is out so he couldn't help get some of the really tough ones out. That I will do later. I hosed them all off but no scrubbing. I want there to be a bit of dirt to add to the vintage look. Today I set a table up out side and Jude and I went to work. A 3 and 1/2 year old actually has the perfect painting technique to achieve a 'shabby chic' kinda look. Once I have finished painting them I will go over the edges with sandpaper just to give it a bit of a worn look. Then we will install. I have not visualized this process. Except I do envision me standing back and my husband doing a lot of shuffling with shutters against the wall. I am having so much fun! This entire project will only cost me the cost of the paint which was only $5 per can. Grand total $25 bucks!

Clifford

2011-06-18T15:02:00.000-07:00

Clifford is our latest spectacular addition. I see tons of dogs posted everyday who need homes. For some reason this guy spoke to me. I quickly found the amazing woman responsible for pulling him from a kill shelter in Georgia and let her know we wanted to foster him. My husband made the journey to meet the transport. Their journey home was not ideal. Clifford had an upset belly. (the smell is still lingering in my jeep.) When I met him I instantly knew he was my dog. Like he was hand picked for me. He is about 20lbs under weight and has worms but is on the mend and loving life. He is my snuggle buddy after the kids go to bed. He is so laid back and just wants love. I am super smitten with him. He is not a foster, he is home. Now our little Memphis is with his forever home. Such an amazing pup. He will be with our cousins so we can see him anytime. The kiddos did an amazing job saying good bye to him.
After 11 years, I have decided to leave teaching for a bit. My husband has his dream job. This means more hours and more $$$ paying a babysitter. Quality of life is my most important goal. As soon as it begins to suffer, I reevaluate. Will I go crazy? Yes! Will I be cursing myself at the end of summer for quitting my job? Absolutely! I am keeping my feet wet and visiting a preschool that actually sounds like a perfect fit for me. My last Special Needs class is this Thursday. I really feel like I have a calling there. I would love the opportunity to make a great impact on my community by helping out these kiddos. But for now, I am home. Pressing shirts, cooking, craft projects, beachin' it, freecycling, and remodeling the master bedroom. The last one is funny since there is anything master about our bedroom. My first project is creating an old shutter collage as a headboard. I collected about 20 shutters on freecycle and bought other peoples mistake paint at ace hardware. Let the fun begin. I suppose it would make a couple of cool blog posts.....

2011-06-04T04:59:00.000-07:00

This is our new guy Memphis. He is 13 weeks old and 30lbs. He is already as big as Penny. His spirit is awesome. He is super laid back. He just goes with the flow. Penny is able to displace some of his energy with this guy. Memphis has no idea how big he is and insists on being a lap dog. He will just cuddle up in your arms and fall asleep. We love him so much. We are fostering him and originally thought we would keep him. He is such an incredible dog that we feel like he belongs with an equally incredible family. We just took in another dog, Clifford. And yes, like the big red dog. He is 75lbs and has spent the last 6 months being shuffled from one animal rescue to another after being pulled from a kill shelter the day he was supposed to die back in January. Another awesome guy. It's like having a small dog in the house. And he'll stay with us. Not sure he would be very adoptable. But we love him!
I am hoping this will be the beginning of many blog entries to come. With a heavy heart, I left my teaching job. The hubby has a new job and it's quite the commute. And as soon as my nanny starts making more than I do, I quit! So, I will be a stay at home mom --crinch-- for a stint. I am in search of an old school chalkboard and plan to fill it with ideas. It will be a visual for me to keep busy with activities and ideas! See you soon! And if you are interested in Memphis, send me a comment!

8 years, 10 days early, and a new moon....

2011-05-01T14:27:00.000-07:00

Fairy face paint of course!

Stylin' new outfit from Auntie Sam


leftover Tigra paint this morning

Eight years ago today I was stacking the stools in my art room. I was very pregnant and unusually grumpy. I knew something was up so I called my mom for advice. "Could you be in labor?" my mom inquired. Or course not, the baby wasn't due for ten more days. I didn't even have a bag packed. I called my doctor who confirmed my early labor symptoms but informed me because of the new moon there was literally no room at the inn. I was encouraged to go home and relax. Phew, time to take a shower, shave my legs, and pack my bag for the hospital. I drove myself and checked in. My mom arrived shortly there after and little did she know that in eight hours she would be cutting the umbilical cord of her granddaughter. I'm not sure if my mom has ever looked so proud of me in my whole life. She was unbelievable that day. Eight years later and this little girl is sprouting into a young lady. She grew an entire inch since last November. Today we visited the park we used to take her to all the time when she was little. It was totally spontaneous. A little park with a couple of swings, monkey bars, a slide, and a big wooden boat. It's the perfect amount of 'stuff'. A weeping willow tree to provide just enough shade and a perfect spot for a picnic blanket. Hard to imagine I was working seven days a week waiting tables to support us. I would scoot home after working a double and scoop Elizabeth up for her last feeding. I think I had the Norah Jones album on repeat that year. I would sing her "The Nearness of You." every night. Although that time was hard for me, Elizabeth and I were bonding for life. She taught me so much during that time. I wonder if she will ever realize? 3:38 am.

confessions of a preschool teacher

2011-03-31T13:11:00.001-07:00

I am feeling a bit defeated today. This is not an emotion I entertain very often. After a long day of conferences, I am a bit at a loss. I am super passionate about teaching to the level of dorkiness. I love love love to learn all there is to know about preschool, child development, etc. All teachers must put in a certain amount of professional development hours. For someone like me, this means nights and weekends. Although it takes time away from my family, I am happy to be privy to the cutting edge ideas of educators. I am blessed with a school who funds these workshop. Now to the point at hand, I am bewildered by the expectations that have been set forth for preschoolers. I am here to tell you we are focusing on the wrong developmental areas of children. After meeting with several parents, who were concerned about letter-sound connection, pencil grip etc, I am feeling the urge to vent. We are discovering that children ultimately succeed in a child focused play based learning environment. A place where open-ended play is embraced. This means blocks, play dough, process art, dramatic play. As children, we fondly remember playing outside with little supervision. This kind of play is so important because we used our imaginations in sustained, elaborate role play. This is where we discovered what we wanted out of life and how to resolve conflict. Children are becoming more and more unsatisfied with toys because they are so used to being entertained by media. From the womb we hang toys in their faces then on to being entertained by tv leading to toys that make noise and talk for them and on to video games and computers. Toys are give to children with a script. Here is a toy, here is how to play with it. Also, we have to schedule play dates. We are no longer in a world where the back yard and the neighborhood is a safe place to play unsupervised. Parents hover and pounce on kids when conflict arise during a play date. And we play with our kids! I can't remember a time my mother played with me. Our kids don't know how to play by themselves. I am guilty of all of this as a parent. As an educator, it's time to make parents aware of what our media-saturated world is doing to our kids. It's time to get kids back into play....free play....open-ended play. But how do we get back there? How do we rescue childhood? Who can remember games of kick the can, cops and robbers, capture the flag? When we played these games we resolved conflict, worked as a team, learned defeat and success, helped our wounded friends, etc. What will happen if our children aren't given the opportunity to develop these skills? How come we don't keep score anymore? Isn't winning and losing part of life? If everyone wins then what is the point of trying our best? Feeling depressed yet? Or inspired? Let's get inspired and rescue childhood for our kids sake!

Geocaching

2011-03-28T14:17:00.000-07:00

Ok, I think I might be the last person on Earth to learn about Geocaching. Today was our first time. Did we have a good time or what! It amazes me that I am still finding new incredible places after thirty-four years of living in this area. The story with the tower is it was built in the 1890's as a watch tower for boats coming in carrying coal. It was originally three stories higher. This is 3.5 miles from my house. Who knew. The cache was located nearby. The kids each took an item and left two pieces of their coveted sea glass. I am surprised Elizabeth left her favorite piece. Elizabeth chose a geocoin which we logged and tracked on the computer. Now it's our turn to drop it at a new cache for someone else to fine. Oh my, this is my new favorite thing. We love spending time in woods. We are usually tracking animals. But this puts a whole new spin on our outings. We are already planning our next one.

the dog ate my homework....

2011-03-25T16:56:00.000-07:00

I am going astray from my photography project the joy of luck. The thing is I 'm not much of a luck girl. I don't consider myself lucky or believe things happen because of luck. I think everything happens for a reason. So I am going to do my own thing. If you know me you know this is pretty much par for the course. I can stick with something for a couple of weeks maybe a month then I get bored.
About this picture: Elizabeth came home with her first quiz. This was her answer to "Would you like to be President?" If you know Elizabeth, you know this answer is spot on. I love the perspective of a seven year old. How much this statement says.....

day 4: favorite material things

2011-03-23T15:09:00.000-07:00

I wish I could say I was a 'regular' kind of girl. I don't collect shoes or care about expensive jewelry. My favorite material things are on a short list. My jeep is probably up there as far as favorite material things. It's red has a sun roof and plows through all weather conditions. Second on the list is my itouch. Music is sacred to me and therefore not attached to my phone. I love that my music doesn't ring in the middle of a good tune. I do however collect purses. Vintage for the most part. This is a pic of my favorite Bakelite purse. It is the coolest. My mom found it for me in a vintage shop in Florida. I am in love with my medium format camera. It sadly collects dust but it has taken it fair share of gorgeous photos. It we come out of hiding again when I have my barn/studio and room for a dark room. These photos were taken with my digital point and shoot. I was going to take a picture of my digital slr but who knows what happened yesterday afternoon. I do love my camera so very much. Even if I did have all the money in the world, I would probably still by old things....I am weird. It's my busy season at school....comment writing, conferences, mother's tea etc. My blog posts may be every couple of days so hang in there with me!
This is joy of luck: day 3

day 3: lucky symbols

2011-03-21T13:47:00.000-07:00

I am not one to carry a lucky symbol around with me but who knew my husband did. In jest, I asked him if he carried something lucky. "Actually, I do." he said. His dear friend who passed was buried with the twin. It's just as you imagine, heavy, worn, beautiful. I am not one to believe in luck. Maybe because nothing ever lucky has happened to me. Maybe it's perspective. Many on-lookers would consider me very lucky. I guess my idea of luck would be winning the lottery or something of that magnitude. But you have to buy lottery tickets to win and I just don't do that. I do however throw salt over my shoulder when I spill it and twitch if no one blesses me after a sneeze. Bless you.

day 2: green

2011-03-18T15:31:00.001-07:00

I had a clever idea for today's assignment but alas life got in the way. We woke up to a broken water tank. I headed to work without a shower...ewwwww. Then Elizabeth started the day with the tummy bug....double ewwww. My grand plan was to head to the local windmill for the "green" assignment. But with a sick wee one and no water I decided to poke around the yard for a little green. Elizabeth looked at the second picture and said "mom why did you take a picture of trash?" Its gravel and a little sprout. This house is new to us this spring so I am excited to see what comes up. It was almost 70 degrees here today. Bare feet. Shorts. Outside fun!
This is joy of luck: day 2

day 1:gift

2011-03-17T15:15:00.000-07:00

I had the day to think of a gift that I take for granted. It needed to be abstract if you will. There was a long list of ideas for this assignment. One that jumped out at me was fertility. I have never had to think about fertility for a second. My mother put the fear of God into me at a young age by telling me if a horny boy walked by me I would get pregnant. So I spent most of my life petrified of my fertility. All I had to do was think about getting pregnant and I was. Actually, my mid-wife told me I was that .1% that manages to get pregnant on birth control. I remember falling asleep sitting up on the couch and saying to myself "I haven't been this tired since I was pregnant...." End of story. For so many women it is a long journey. Hormones, injections, anxiety. I wonder how many couples go through this alone. It's not like we talk about it casually at cocktail parties. Regardless, the outcome is the same. Happy bubbly babies who love us unconditionally.
This is joy of luck: day 1

Day 28: the future

2011-03-01T18:04:00.000-08:00

I will have many jobs, live many places, know many people. There is one thing that will always be my present, my future, my past....these two. They are my constant. Their love is unconditional. I lean on them as much as they lean on my. Twenty-eight days of taking photos. (well I missed one assignment.) I am sad it is over but feel I have gained a deeper understanding of my camera. We have relationship now. I have a dear sweet friend to thank for turning me on to the joy of love project. She and I have sat on mountain summits and canoed over 100 miles together. We have cried, laughed, prayed, danced, sang together. Even though we are separated by many miles she is still a wonderful friend after so many years. I may not know what it is but I know there is a plan for me and she has reminded me of this.
About the photo: Yes we live in New England and my kids are constantly dressed for summer. Maybe it's the woodstove and they feel hot. It is tank tops and undies most days around here. They are leaning on Elizabeth's razor scooter. I let them ride scooters inside now and then. Remember, I live in New England and its winter! I have attempted to honor the content of my photos with minimal cropping, editing, enhancing.
This is joy of love: day 28

day 27: what they say

2011-02-28T13:56:00.000-08:00

I couldn't decide which one I liked better. This is a reaction the what 'they' day. For Christmas, my kiddo's received a Wii from my parents. It is the hot topic of conversation 99% of the time. This is what i hear all day......when can we play it, how long can we play it, why can't we play it...etc. When Jude asked daddy if he could play the Wii and daddy said 'no.' this face transpired. I can't even stand it. Its adorable. Totally candid, totally had my camera. You just can't pay for this kind of expression!
This is joy of love: day 27.

day 26: the bro-mance

2011-02-27T09:58:00.000-08:00

Soak it in.......daddy and Jude
two peas in a pod.
This is joy of love: day 26

day 25: when you love them the most

2011-02-26T04:42:00.000-08:00

This guy always cooks for me....no matter how long he has worked or what time it is he is always willing to fire up the stove. And he is a good cook. Raised by an Italian mother, he knows how to make yummy food. This is probably why I weigh more than I ever have in my life. Also the reason why I haven't and couldn't eat jar spaghetti sauce in the past seven years. What I find to be a chore after a long day, he finds effortless. Now the assignment was to document when you love them the most. This is just a glimmer of one of the times I love him most. He is the husband who buys flowers for no reason or sings me a song a love song in front of an audience. I am definitely spoiled. A romantic.....although if he could just take the trash out I would really be over the moon.....
This is joy of love: day 25

Day 24: where

2011-02-24T14:47:00.000-08:00

Here's the story...the way I tell it.
I was pretty down and out. We've all been there. I was on my own. Elizabeth was a year old. I was waitressing like a dog seven days a week. My best friend, my brother and I headed out one night to hear a good friend play music. I was leaning against a brick pillar listening to the music and noticed the person next to me was wearing the exact same boots. I innocently clicked his heel and said "nice boots." The guy proceeded to chit chat and try to buy me a beer. I don't let guys buy me drinks especially back then when I was in survival mode. I left shortly there after.
A couple of weeks later with out my co-pilots, I headed again to hear some music. I was starting to feel human again after getting out of a pretty bad relationship. I walked in to my favorite haunt and there he was....the guy with the boots again. He hopped up and enthusiastically said hi and proceeded to kiss me on the cheek. I b-lined it to the bathroom and said to myself "great, now you are going to be stuck talking to the old guy all night." After some convincing, I joined him for a drink. Then we ended up in his kitchen...I know! And he said "now can I kiss you?" Then he planted one on me and I was all done. We've been together every day since. After meeting twice I was head over heels. Now this morning as I was asking him when he fell in love with me, his answered differed from mine. He said we did not fall in love with each other at the same time. GULP....I was on pins and needles. He said he fell in love with me the first time we met. Awwwww. Romantic? Maybe not...we met a bar....oh well. It's our story and we're sticking to it.
We were married at the house we first kissed in....the house he grew up in. These photos are courtesy of our very talented friend Andrew Luman. He and his wife were our fabulous wedding photographers.
This is joy of love: day 24

day 23: facebook

2011-02-23T14:14:00.000-08:00

The Cowboy
This is the second nickname my husband earned on our last trip to Florida. He is actually wearing my cowboy hat. His was getting crispy floating in the pool so I made him put the hat on. A picture of my husband relaxing is a rare one. A picture of him looking silly even rarer. It just goes to show how important it is for everyone to get away. I know we'll get back there again. I was ready to pack everyone up and drive down this vacation. Two days in the car.......worth it to see this guy in my hat again. My assignment today was to find my favorite picture of my loved on on Facebook.
This is joy of love: day 23

Day 22: face {portrait}

2011-02-22T16:51:00.000-08:00

This course has been an amazing experience. I have actually learned how to use my camera on manual mode. Natural lighting for all of these shots. It's been a long time since I was in the world of f-stops. Art school circa 2000. I am glad it's like riding a bike. I think my subject matter is a great inspiration. The one of the hubby was the first shot in the series. Sometimes, you know you got it the first time. It's not as crisp as I would like it. I am forever clicking my camera and never seem to manage to get a good photo of him. I like this one. Mister Laid Back. Good energy.
This is joy of love: day 22

Day 21: hands

2011-02-21T16:11:00.000-08:00

dog hands

Wii hands

lego hands

peeking hands

eating hands
Day one of vacation involved two fevers. There was lots of lounging around today. Lego building, Wii playing, baking, bone chewing etc. I think I could have taken pictures of hands all day. Penny, our pup, uses her hands in the most amazing ways. I love to watch both of my kids build with legos. It's super cool to see their little engineer minds at work. Especially Elizabeth. The girl throws out the instructions and just goes for it. Jude would like it to look just like the picture. Sigh. I am not a very good lego builder. Finally their fevers broke this afternoon and they ran around like monkeys. So I took them to the Rain Forest Cafe. Um, I can tolerate a lot but that place was disturbing. I am not sure if it was the noise or all the fake stuff hanging everywhere but I thought it was weird. The kids L.O.V.E.D it. I am saying shoo to anymore illness this vacation.
This is joy of love: day 21

Day 20: when they're home

2011-02-21T05:00:00.001-08:00

When daddy is home, there is lots of snuggles. Jude likes using daddy as a human bed. He works longs hours and is often home late. The weekend is the kids time to soak daddy in.
This is joy of love: day 20

Day 19: when they're gone

2011-02-20T07:29:00.000-08:00

This beast is turned off. In that cabinet all the remotes are hidden. All the wiring tucked away. Whether it is my husband or the kids, this things always manages to get turned on. It usually ends in me saying "turn that thing off! I can't stand hearing it anymore." When "they" are gone which is seldom, it is quiet. Maybe some pandora playing in the background. I find tv obnoxious. It definitely does not help me unwind at the end of the day. My husband needs it after his day. As a preschool teacher, I have had enough stimulation for the day and like quiet. I like to knit, embroider, listen to music, etc. The assignment was to attempt to capture the overall feeling. I think this picture says it all in a household of four.
I know I skipped Day 18 which is going out. It is on hold until next weekend.
This is joy of love: day 19.

Day 17: staying in

2011-02-19T04:48:00.000-08:00

Staying in at my house is par for the course around here. We have become super home bodies which is what you do when you live in New England during the winter. My husband is an amazing artist. It is hysterical that he is drawing from one of those "How to Draw" books. He can literally draw anything in perfect perspective. But the kids critique him when he draws. "No daddy, not like that. I want it to look like the one book." It is hard not to giggle. I don't think they have any idea of his talent.
This is joy of love: day 17

Day 16: together self portrait

2011-02-16T15:30:00.000-08:00

The Motley Crue
This is joy of love: day 16

Day 15: Smooch

2011-02-16T11:46:00.000-08:00

Yikes! A smooch! This one was painful for sure
I rarely have my picture taken. I think other than our wedding we only have a few pictures of ourselves on record. So this is as good as it's going to get. We spent more time giggling than picture taking. So maybe it wasn't too painful. His kiss is what won me over seven years ago. Literally went weak in the knees....TMI???
This is Joy of Love: Day 15

Day 14: Wedding Band

2011-02-15T12:51:00.000-08:00

"This Years Love"

This years love had better last
Heaven knows it's high time
And I've been waiting on my own too long
But when you hold me like you do
It feels so right
I start to forget
How my heart gets torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Feeling like you can't go on

Turning circles when time again
It cuts like a knife oh yeah
If you love me got to know for sure
Cos it takes something more this time
Than sweet sweet lies
Before I open up my arms and fall
Losing all control
Every dream inside my soul
And when you kiss me
On that midnight street
Sweep me off my feet
Singing ain't this life so sweet

This years love had better last
This years love had better last

So whose to worry
If our hearts get torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Don't you know this life goes on
And won't you kiss me
On that midnight street
Sweep me off my feet
Singing ain't this life so sweet

This years love had better last
This years love had better last
This years love had better last
This years love had better last
By David Gray
This is Joy of Love: Day 14

Day 13: Routines

2011-02-14T14:03:00.001-08:00

Family book time. Every night. Every day. The kids pick out two books each and we all climb into bed and read them together. It might be the best part of my day. It is not a perfect time of day but a happy time. There is a tremendous amount of fidgeting. I know "Everyone Poops" by heart. The cat usually wants to lay on my head. Despite the glitches, it is my most favorite tradition we have implemented. I am super proud to say we read as a family seven days a week. (try to overlook the dirty socks....) This is Joy of Love: Day 13.

Day 12: The Eyes

2011-02-13T14:23:00.001-08:00

This is Joy of Love: Day 12

Day 11: Dreams

2011-02-12T14:56:00.000-08:00

A day late on this one. An abstract topic.....dreams. I definitely mulled this one over. After a long work week and a play date that turned into a sleepover and dinner at Friendly's with three kids by myself. (Why that place doesn't serve alcohol is beyond me.) I wasn't feeling terribly inspired. But Penny has dreams! I think she is dreaming about being pack leader. Hey, a girl can dream can't she!
It is not that this household is lacking dreams. Jude wants to be a super hero. Elizabeth wants to rescue animals. Not a Veterinarian mind you, a rescuer. Richard wants to literally, dream again. He is a sleepy guy. I am still waiting for my farm in Vermont. I will live on a clay deposit and throw pots in my barn all day and live off the land.
This is Joy of love: Day 11

Day 10: Where They are Comfortable

2011-02-10T13:33:00.000-08:00

A boy and his dog

Two peas in a pod

This boy is most comfortable anywhere as long as he is sporting his Tom Brady shirt and face to face with his puppy. He loves his dog maybe more than the rest of us. Do you see it in his eyes? If she wasn't so distracted by the camera his affection may have been reciprocated. Talk about unconditional love! This is Joy of Love: Day 10.

Day 9: Passions & Hobbies

2011-02-09T15:55:00.000-08:00

A boy and his shell collection

You don't get the nickname the Professor in this household very easily. My brother quickly gave my husband this title after we spent a week visiting him in Florida. My husband is a nature lover. He knows everything from fungi to flowers to plankton to shells. After seven years together and several moves, I have unearthed his boyhood collections. My favorite is his shell collection. They used to live in the box above but with his permission I have filled various glass containers and displayed them here and there. He is the guy at the beach who says "actually that is an isopod" after you just proudly told your child they found a shrimp. He is my walking encyclopedia for me as a teacher. If you have a question about the natural world he has answer. (and not in an obnoxious way.) He takes us out in hip deep snow and we track animals on our hands and knees. He finds salamander and tadpole eggs in the spring. He carves hiking sticks for the kids. His passion....his hobby is nature.

This is Joy of Love: Day 9

Day 8: Love from the Heart

2011-02-08T14:58:00.000-08:00

The only piece of jewelry I religiously wear everyday.
This is Joy of love: Day 8

Day 7: Generations

2011-02-07T13:01:00.000-08:00

grampy.jude.daddy

This is Joy of Love: Day 7

Day 6: Who They Love

2011-02-06T15:38:00.000-08:00

Quimby

Given to my first baby, Elizabeth, the day she was born. No we did not come up with the name. It is his Gund given name. This being my first baby, I immediately ripped off the ribbon that was sewn to his neck. I was convinced it was a choking hazard. He quickly became her favorite. He was dragged all over creation. His soft fur became a matted and stinky. He was probably responsible for bringing the plague to and from our house. His tag was thread barren. One scar stretched from his forehead to his cheek were he landed on the burner of the stove. He was loved. And then one day he was gone. This was about 6 months ago. We were getting ready to move so I was convinced we would find him while we packed. Elizabeth would ask for him now and then but she was seven and too cool. Finally, she had a total meltdown about him. We started searching on-line for a new one. Of course, this bear is retired. The going rate for one is too much to say out loud. I was blessed to find a woman named Gran gran in Alabama who was selling one for a reasonable price. I mean how can you go wrong with the name Gran gran. Second generation Quimby arrived last week in the snow storm and has faithfully been by Elizabeth's side ever since. She insisted we rip off the ribbon even though I think she is beyond the choking hazard phase. (She's seven) He reminds me of the Velveteen Rabbit. Look at that mug. I am happy this guy is back! This is Joy of Love: Day 6.

Day 5: Love to Hate

2011-02-05T10:02:00.000-08:00

If you know me, you know I think 'hate' is a strong word. But here we go, what I love to hate.....This picture was taken today at 1:00 pm. The subject: my husbands 'briefcase' and jacket on the trunk in the family room. Before he even reaches this trunk he passes a set of three hooks for jackets. They are literally on the left wall of the entry way. My three year old and seven year old manage to hang their jackets there. But why is my husband incapable of this task? The reason it gets under my skin is all self projected. I take it personally. Does he think the rules don't apply to him? Does he know if he leaves it there long enough I will give in and hang it up for him? Does he have no regard for the living space I try to keep tidy on a daily basis. Does he realize that he is setting a bad example for our children and the importance of taking responsibility for our belongings? I wish any of these reasons applied to him but they don't. He is simply trying to get through the door as quickly as possible in order to shower me with kisses after a long day at work......really! really?
This is Joy of Love: Day 5.

Day 4: What They Wear

2011-02-04T13:02:00.001-08:00

A husband, who loves the outdoors as much as I do, wears these boots. His leather hiking boots are as old as the hills they have climbed. There is a story or two they could tell. We have hiked many of the same mountains and swapped stories of our adventures. Yet we have never hiked together. Of course, we take the kids on day hikes all the time. But I dream about the day he and I can hike all alone and trek the paths we have talked about so many time together. I see these boots and I am jealous. I am jealous of what the wear and tear symbolizes. It makes me want to put on some wool socks, gators, a headlamp and look at an AMC map. This is day 4 Joy of Love.

Day 3: Then...and....Now

2011-02-03T12:52:00.000-08:00

I have joined for the month of February this photography project Joy of Love. I figured I could take a picture a day. I am a few days behind but better late than never. The assignment for today is "Then and now." My only willing participant was Elizabeth. Age 7 here with her baby picture at just a few days old. I wish this was a longer post today but the tension is high in my house for some reason. Our last couple of free-loving snow days seem far away right now.

Ten Live Songs

2011-02-01T13:33:00.000-08:00

1. Nemesis-David Gray (Bank of America Pavillion 2010)
2. Divided Sky-Phish (Greatwoods, 1994)
3. Mississippi Half-step-Further (Lowell, 2010)
4. Christmas Song-Dave Matthews Band (Wake Forest Chapel, 1995)
5. Stardust-Willie Neslon (Orpheum Boston, 2000)
6. Whipping Post-Allman Brothers (Greatwoods, 1995)
7. Here Comes the Sun-Richie Havens (Newport Folk Fest, 2009)
8. Love Like We Do-Edie Brickell (Greatwoods, 1989)
9. Where the Streets have No Name U2 (Boston Garden, 1992)
10.You Should Belong to Me-Ray Lamontagne (Paradise 2005)

The songs span twenty-one years of seeing live music. My first show was Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians at Greatwoods with my dad. We sat on the lawn, I smelled pot for the first time, I was thirteen.

10 Songs from the Ditch

2011-01-31T13:09:00.000-08:00

1. Get Me-Everything But the Girl
2. Delicate-Damien Rice
3. Case of You-Joni Mitchell
4. Colorblind-Counting Crows
5. This Time-Jonathan Rhys Meyers
6. You and Me-Neil young
7. Save Me-Olivia Broadfield
8. I was just Thinking-Teitur
9. After the Storm-Mumford & Sons
10.Love Song-Jonatha Brooks

These are the songs I listen to when I am in the ditch....you know when life feels like its going to hell in a hand basket.

10 Songs

2011-01-27T14:14:00.000-08:00

I should preface this post by saying this is not my all time top ten list. That kind of list doesn't exist. My music selection is an ever revolving door. Some of the songs have been with me since I remember my mother first spinning Joni Mitchell on vinyl at age thirteen. Some of the songs are fairly new additions. All of the songs I play loud over and over again in my car. They are my mood setters, my sanity grabbers, my outlet, my peace of mind. Do you have a top ten list? ok,ok I realize I am going to need to do this by genre. First up: folk

1. Can't Find My Way Home-Blind Faith
2. Conversation-Joni Mitchell
3. Althea-Grateful Dead
4. Still Can't Feel the Gin-Ray Lamontagne
5. Pink Moon-Nick Drake
6. Trouble-Cat Stevens
7. Danny's Song-Loggins & Messina
8. Nothing Last Forever-Brett Dennen
9. Places-Blue Merle
10.Love Song-Jonatha Brooks
Bonus Song: If You Could Read My Mind-Gordon Lightfoot

Honestly, I could just keep going and going......

The Narwhal and Me

2011-01-26T14:43:00.000-08:00

I can relate to this guy. He is a Narwhal and if you are in my preschool class, you know all about this whale. His tusk is actually an overgrown incisor tooth. For a long time the tusk was a mystery. Leave it to National Geographic to get to the bottom of it. They discovered the tooth is used like an instrument. It is so sensitive that it can detect barometric pressure, change in salinity, location of fish, and migration patterns. It was once thought the narwhal used the tusk to fight each other. A dentist discovered they rub tusks together as a way of brushing their teeth and it is not an aggressive gesture at all. They are deep divers and nearly impossible to track. They are spotted in the Arctic but it is unclear where they go from there. Scientist are unable to navigate the ice and can not get close enough to tag them. We have no idea where they migrate to. I find comfort in this. It makes me happy to think this creature is virtually untouched by man. I guess it represents that some things are still sacred. I want to dive deep where no one can track me.

This is Home......

2010-10-28T17:28:00.000-07:00

We are moving in about 72 hours. I am excited about our new digs. The school system is great, rent is cheaper, the house is smaller. In a quiet moment, I started to reflect on all the goodness this house holds for us. First day of school, cribs turning into big boy beds, learning how to ride a two wheeler, losing teeth, cutting teeth, first birthday, first steps, first 100 on a spelling test. I am not one to be sentimental about a place. Its just four walls. But I will in this moment remember the great times at this house. Our fire pit where friendships strengthened and even broke apart never to be fixed. Where stories, tears, laughter, stresses, joys were shared over toasted marshmallows and spirits. An extra room for my big brother to sleep in when he visited. A world of exploration in our backyard. Yellow spotted salamanders, tree frogs, snakes, birds, coyotes, the groundhog who loved our garden. Mama snapping turtle laid her egg two years in a row and my husband lovingly brought her offspring to the wetland out back. The winter wonderland that provided snow forts and great sledding. Our summer of the intex pool that all the neighborhood kids loved. Our neighbor Sam who always has an ice cream for you even if it is 10am. In these four walls we have fought together, loved together, broke bread together, held each other, pushed each other away. How quickly three years has gone. How full those three years have been. New jobs coming, old jobs going. A broken window, baseboards chewed by the new pup, a rock in the basement that stretched from one side to the other. A kitchen with the best dance floor I could ask for. Now its time to pack it all away and start again. Change is good. Keep us on our toes.

Apples and Old Friends

2010-10-11T14:07:00.001-07:00

Ahhh the traditional New England pilgrimage to the orchard. Oh so cute pictures of kids amongst pumpkins. There are lots of cider donuts to be had and stinky farm animals to pet. This year my dear friend from art school and her awesome hubby were in town for a wedding and were able to tag along. I have spared them the embarrassment of posting a picture of them next to an apple tree. Although it is adorable. Here we are 13 years later wandering through an orchard. We spent most of our time at art school together being grumpy. Making grumpy art. My friends hair was blue or green or whatever mood she was in. We hung out with other grumpy art school students. The grumpier we were the cooler we were. Art school seems like a world ago. Now people tell me I am crafty. ((cringe)) I can hear my ceramics teacher sighing from hear. Someday I will be back to land of pit-firing, raku, photography, paper, the dark room. Does anyone even use dark rooms any more??? Usually this is the point of the blog were I delete everything I just wrote because it sounds a little angry but I am honoring my feelings today and letting it flow. I miss making art. I love making art! Til next time.....

Summer Wrap Up

2010-09-24T13:27:00.000-07:00

This post has been a long time comin'. End of summer and the start of a new school year. We were blessed with a totally blissful summer. I feel so lucky to have been able to stay home with the kids and get some good down time in with them. No schedule, no plan.....just chill time. I went into seasonal depression when I had to go back to work. Don't get me wrong, I love my job but this year was the first year I felt like "they are never going to be this young again." Maybe it is the realization that I am not going to have any more babies. That is ok. I plan to hold everyone else's babies when they need a break. So a big trip to Storyland as our last hoorah for the summer. My husband reminds me that I go nuts when I stay home with the kids. This is why summer is great, just enough time to decompress. This is my second year at my new job and I feel much more settled in. We are adjusting to a new nanny or rather she is adjusting to us. I have started drinking coffee. Something I have avoided for most of my life because it always makes me a bit nutty. My energy level has been below standard so I thought a new zip in my step might be nice. I like it! Maybe too much. Hmmmm what else to report? Ah I have a great new friend. Actually he is my husband's friend too. He really deserves a blog post all of his own. Let's say he has had a great positive influence on our little family pod. Already counting the days til summer vacation........

Dance.Dance.Dance

2010-07-27T17:02:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I just crank the music and dance. Put the ol'ipod on shuffle and throw caution to the wind. Usually, Elizabeth will say "oh no, not the dancing again mommy!" Jude happily obliges me with a dance. His latest 'Fire on the Mountain.' I am by no means a good dancer. I just need to shake the bones once in awhile. When I say music runs through the veins, it truly does. I remember my mother spinning Joni Mitchell on vinyl when I was like 5? What strikes me as odd is when people say 'I can't dance.' I usually respond with 'well no one can really dance.' I mean whose to say there is a right way to dance? I grew up in a dancing household. Mom and dad can be caught dancing to this day on their lawn or in their kitchen. I dance with my brothers. I used to dance on my dads feet when I was little. I knock knees with my husband. I have a hard time letting him lead. I spent years perfecting a routine with my best friend. Who, I know, to this day would fall right back into the groove with me. I actually get excited about weddings because it is such a great excuse to dance with my husband. Even to songs you would never admit to liking but at a wedding who can be picky. Dancing is such an important thing to do....teaching your children to dance is teaching them how to take a risk. So dance, dance, dance. Dance with the babies in your life, dance with the old people in your life, dance by yourself, dance with your dog, dance with your lover. When is the last time you danced?

7/?/2010

2010-07-21T10:36:00.000-07:00

I love that I have no idea what the date is today. I know it is somewhere in the 20's since my mother's official birthday was Monday. So much to do and nothing to do lately. I realize I am back in my classroom setting up on August 20th. Crazy there are 4 weeks of summer left for me. My biggest goal was to read a book just for fun. I can read about 4 or 5 pages and then zzzzzzzzzzz. I am eating Eat.Pray.Love. I know its cheesy, fluffy, about to be a movie but it works for me at the moment. Gotta love a 30something in crisis! I can relate. I had big expectations for the summer. Lots of field trips planned but I quickly realized how important it was for us to stay home. Little art projects, trips to the beach, smore's on the fire pit, soaking up the quality time. I am loving it. The kids are in heaven. No schedule, just chill time. They do, of course, drive me nuts. Jude is 2 and 1/2 and living it up. I just need a recording of myself saying "Jude is that a good choice?' "Jude is that helpful or hurtful?' "Jude do you need a timeout." and then the heated version "Jude leave the dog alone!" "Stop doing that now!" "Go sit on the steps, you are in a timeout!" I managed to regroup after hitting rock bottom yesterday. I have to remember a pile of play-doh makes this little guy happy or mud pies or my favorite game 'car show.' Which is us essentially lining all his matchbox up for a show. Its a good time. Then there is my sweet Elizabeth. Hand on one hip, leg out, eyes rolling, "Mom, please you know all I want to do is play video games!" It would be easy to plug her in and say "see ya in 2 hours!" I make her earn it, weekends only. We have no media days where the tv, computer, and video games are off limits. I stay strong. I curl up with my book and hope she follows suit. She does sometimes. Mostly she mopes and asks for something to eat. First children are incapable of entertaining themselves. Its my own fault. So as laundry piles up, dust bunnies are making colonies under my furniture, half chewed dog toys are strewn across the house, I am going to put my bathing suit on, read my book, listen to MY music, and maybe take a dip in the intex pool. Its summer, all else can wait! Oh and I am sneaking in one night away before summer is over....alone with no children, no husband, no phone, no computer. It is long overdue!

Mom's Birthday Dinner

2010-07-19T11:03:00.000-07:00

My mom is 65 years old. Isn't that crazy?! She looks amazing. I only hope I can look that good at 65!. So out to eat we went on Saturday Night. I brought my camera and everyone squawked about it. Apparently, no one likes getting there picture taken. I did snap a few but of course, I can not post them. I did take a few exterior shots. They are just ok. Anyways, dinner was great. We toasted with champagne and finished with a roasted peach with fresh blueberries and vanilla bean ice cream. My favorite part of the dinner. Happy Birthday to my mom!

Artsy Fartsy

2010-07-14T11:48:00.000-07:00

This is our attempt not to spend the entire summer in front of the tv or in the pool. I have implemented a craft time into our schedule every day. This one, well I think is pretty self explanatory. Jude will hunker down and craft all day with me. It is a little hard for me to swallow 'crafts' like this one. I am not sure it is the most creative or self expressive project. It is more of a craft than art and it was super fun!

Furthur

2010-07-06T10:03:00.000-07:00

I love love love going to shows! Summer is my favorite time of year for this love. Outdoor shows are the best. It is always a nostalgic experience for me. I have been going to shows since I was thirteen. I fondly remember my dad bringing me to the local outdoor arena to see Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians. We spread a blanket on the lawn and just kicked it. I couldn't even count how many I have been to since. This past week I headed to the Furthur Show which is the guys who are still alive from the the Grateful Dead. I think my favorite part of shows now is the fact that we are all so old! Its definitely not the same madness it used to be. Everyone moves a bit slower and uses manners. We drink less because we have to work the next day. We cook food because we know what if we don't eat every five hours our blood sugar will drop and we will be fussy. I went with my dear old friend from fourth grade and my big brother. We met my other brother, his girl, and his best bud at the show. It is so awesome that the three of us like the same music and each other enough to go together. We are all so different but love to cut a rug together. I love my brothers. I am super lucky. So anyways, Phil Lesh and Bob Weir are ancient. BUT they still sound amazing.....Sugaree, Fire on the Mountain.....just to name a few of my favorites. There were lots of little kids at the show which freaks me out. On the other hand, I am looking forward to passing down this rite of passage to my daughter.....maybe next summer?

Happy

2010-06-29T08:47:00.000-07:00

We have been having a blast the past couple of days......Nothing major to report but good times. Spending tons of time in the intex pool. If you have contemplated getting one, do it! It has been such a treat because the last couple of days here have been hot hot! Tomorrow I head to the Furthur show with my brothers and a few assorted friends. Excited to kick up the heels again! I am hoping my feet will recover from a bit of a late night of dancing on the pebble stone patio by the firepit. We ended up having an awesome impromptu "Name that Tune" which turned into a dance part which turned into *cough* 3 am bedtime. Its not often I really get a chance to let loose which is crucial when doing the mommy juggle!

First Day of Summer

2010-06-24T18:25:00.000-07:00

Finally, I am finished for the summer. I wrapped up my last day of camp today. My big brother comes to town tomorrow. Fiesta is here which equals crazy tourists hittin' our town with a vengeance. We are heading to the Furthur show on Wednesday. It will be a family affair. The kids are already driving me nuts. They talk all the time. Questions, stories, rants, songs......you name they do it. They are beyond the age of me being able to get away with the standard "mmhm, yep, really?, wow. ok" answers. "Mom are you listening to me?" We will make it through thanks to our silly intex pool in the backyard. I am telling you it is the best $100 we have ever spent.
I went to see Phish last week on a school night. Nearly killed me. It was our second annual with this crew. A great show. I need to stop pretending like I am seventeen at concerts. I am officially that old lady who is doing the crazy dance. I love it. Just gotsta shake my bones.
Goodness. Look at that picture! This is me on the way to Phish. ALONE. in my car for almost two hours. It was bliss. I have such a humongous snoz! I fondly remember my first boyfriend saying...'its not big, its just over sized.' Not that I remember or have developed a complex as a result! I will however spring for VIP parking next year. There was nothing fun about trying to get out of lot 13. I didn't even know there was a lot 13.....

Boredom

2010-06-19T02:59:00.000-07:00

We finally heard back from Elizabeth's teacher. I had sent a lengthy email expressing my concerns about maybe needing to get her tested. Apparently, she is testing above a 2nd grade bench mark. (she is only in first grade) So I have come to the resolution that her 'acting out' in class is because the is bored! She whips through her worksheets and gets up to bother the other kids. She says she is trying to help them. Which to Elizabeth means doing their work for them. Regardless, I can breath now. I would like to tell her teach to go fly a kite and pull Elizabeth out for the rest of the year. I did give her a mental health day yesterday. We took the pup on a nice long hike and ate ice cream for lunch. Now I am off to set up on of those crazy above ground pools. Its 6am here. It will be perfect for our 90 degree weekend coming up. Now that we have Penny, our all day beach stints will have to be put on hold. All I can say is CANNONBALL!

Trying to find the bright spot.

2010-06-16T16:09:00.000-07:00

I love when my boss says "What's the bright spot?" There is always a bright spot, I guess. Our sweet girl is struggling. I want to believe her when she tells me she is trying her hardest. This is not what is being to told to me by her school. The husband and I both took off work today to attend her Author's Breakfast. We both agreed we would kill them with kindness even though the past few days have been hell. We held hands (actually I think he was holding me up) as we walked up the driveway to the school. My heart pounding in my chest. We waited anxiously in the lobby making small talk with the other parents. As we made our way down the hall we smiled and greeted the principal. I was thinking, ok this isn't going to be so bad. THEN we turned the corner. There, like a slap in the face, were all of the Star of the Week posters. All nineteen of them plastered up on the wall display. All but Elizabeth's.....We were told she had to earn it for having just one good day. Really? She has not had one good day all year??? Funny. As we entered the classroom all the children were seated at their tables, smiling, waiting excitedly for parents to arrive. All the children except for Elizabeth. She doesn't sit at a table. She sits at a desk, ALONE, facing the wall. I am still ok at this point. No tears. She reads us her books. They were good. Bare minimum but good. I was dumbfounded her teacher didn't ask her to write a bit more. I guess just getting by is good enough for her. I observed Elizabeth, who was buzzing. Couldn't focus. Distracted. Over-stimulated. I know how she feels. I was tested for ADD/Dyslexia but not until high school. So now we are left to wonder, should she get tested? Is it the teacher? Is it her? If we take her out of this school will it just be the same in another school? Of course, the Star of the Week poster came home today. While all the other kids had it up for months she will get to share hers for um....four days. So what is the bright spot? Elizabeth is my Star of the Week every week. I don't need a poster to tell me that. She will be ok. As long as we stick by her and love her, she will be ok. I am still waiting to come up for air.......

Warning.....this isn't going to be pretty

2010-06-14T16:12:00.000-07:00

This is how I feel. Angry. Frustrated. Tortured. Hurt. Confused. My sweet Elizabeth is nearing the end of her first grade year. I received news that she wasn't going to be able to participate in Star of the Week because she has not 'earned' it. Funny a few months ago we were told no spring conference was necessary. She was doing great. Yesterday I was spitting nails. Today I am choosing my words wisely. I feel bad for her teacher truthfully. We can't all have that natural instinct that really great teachers possess. I don't judge her. She has her excuses as to why Elizabeth is miserably failing at this point in the year. I am on the outside looking in to this classroom where piles and piles of worksheets come home. I see my daughter humiliated by being put at a table alone. She distracts, disrespects, chats, BEHAVES LIKE A SEVEN YEAR OLD! GO FIGURE! I am armed with knowledge. I am her advocate. I will be heard. She will not be the sacrifice of an out of control school system. What if your mom doesn't stick up for you? Where do you turn when there is no unconditional love. How do you survive when only the negative is noticed. How many children have been failed by our public school systems. I will pray for the children who have no advocate. I will pray for the teachers who live by task first, child second. I will praise God for my strong-willed-whipper-snapper who I love unconditionally whether she behaves in school or not. In my house, what happens at school stays at school.

Yes, I am crazy....

2010-06-12T04:29:00.000-07:00

"You are crazy!" is all I heard when we announced we were getting a puppy. This isn't really a stretch for me. So after awhile I decided people were just stating the obvious. I do have to say that having a puppy is like having kids except you can put kids on a leash w/o getting a few sideways glances. Penny Blu is doing great and become my new obsession. I am back at the beginning stages of having a baby. My thought process again revolves around looking at poop and making sure it looks ok. Constantly making sure the pup is not eating something she can choke on. Encouraging her to eat all her dinner. Getting her to go down for naps etc. On the other hand, she is an amazing addition to the family. She adores the kids and the feeling is mutual. I am so happy we are now challenged to find place to play that are dog friendly. We have encountered some dog folks already. I think they can smell I am the new kid on the block. These people are a breed all of their own. I am going to go take my crazy self and get some puppy love!

Welcome Home

2010-06-06T17:33:00.000-07:00

Finally, our newest addition has arrived. She is a sweet, shy, happy little girl. Her name is Penny Blu. For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted a dog name Blu. The kids were on board with this name too. But as we were driving home in the pouring rain as she snoozed on my husbands lap, I just knew she was a Penny. Her incredible journey started with the rescue of 9 little pups and turned into 50! 30 hours later transport arrived with the puppies. They were starving, scared, covered in poop and pee. They were all received with hugs and cheers. My dear friend was the driving force behind this transport. She is a brave, compassionate, firecracker and I am so proud to be able to call her my friend. She has given us the gift of our newest family member. Jude was a natural. He started by washing pups by hand. Then he proceeded to hand feed them all. He was better than most of the grown-ups. We are blessed! I say this as my husband is walking her around our mosquito infested yard trying to get her to pee and poop. And so it begins.....

Blue

2010-06-01T15:53:00.000-07:00

write.select all.delete
Can't seem to find the words today. I have a heavy heart. My 2 classes are graduating this week. I am sending 10 of them off to kindergarten. I am so proud and sad all at the same time. Where is the bright spot? Maybe it is this bundle of love arriving in 5 days. A little girl named Blue.

2010-05-29T03:58:00.000-07:00

Almost two months since my last post. We have been busy bees over here. Some highlights from my time away....We had our first family vacation ever. It was incredible. My parents have a great house in Sarasota, FLA. A truly awesome place. The whole area was built up by John Ringling of Ringling Bros. circus. It was were the circus would spend their winters. The area is buzzing with arts, music, great food, shopping and beautiful beaches. We found an almost deserted beach and it has become our new favorite. My brother hosted us, which is such a treat. I miss him. My father in law endured the trip, plane ride and everything. God bless him.
We are adopting a dog. I have a great friend who rescues dogs when she is not working at her full time job. She is amazing! She is heading up next weekend with, I think, 59 puppies. All rescue dogs from the south. I am so excited to be getting the chance to finally have a new baby, a furry one that is.
School is almost out for me and then summer camp for a few weeks. I have 10 kiddos heading off to Kindergarten from my class. Exciting and sad all at the same time. I managed to make and end of the year slideshow with about 150 photos. Its a tear jerker!
All in all we have had a fabulous spring and we are ready to bring on summer! Peace

I've been playing!

2010-03-31T17:04:00.000-07:00

As my camera collects dust in the corner, I have been putting my photos to work with picnik. Super fun and addictive. I find I can have a love/hate with my camera. It is a gorgeous piece of machinery but at times I just need a break from the clicking. I have been appropriately ignoring my children in order to have some down time with this new toy. Best part is its free. Here are a few I have been playing with......

Unplugged

2010-03-29T18:08:00.000-07:00

Wow, over a month since my last post. I seriously needed to unplug for awhile. Well, with a little help from my new friend, itouch. I have found myself checking email and facebook, you know the crucials, with my new friend. I also joined a gym, yay! And have been working out a few times a week at night instead of sitting in front of the computer or watching tube. But I have felt the urge to get creative again with words, pics, and music. I actually started a scrap book for Elizabeth. A smart friend of mine, who has four children, gave me some advice. A page a year for each child. 10-15 favorite photos from the year. This weekend I did Elizabeth's first page. Sooooo many do-dads to pick from. I found myself lost in the craft store among papers, glitter, stamps, brads, trims, cut-outs, etc. It was fun, easy, addictive. I am secretly super psyched about Jude's. Technically has changed since Elizabeth was born. The pictures of Jude were taken with my fancy digital slr. I showed Elizabeth her first two pages this morning and she lit up! I only worry that the sticky with wear off all the do-dads. Oh and my new best friends, glue dots! Never knew they existed. I am going to officially call myself a scrapbooker now. Of course, my 20 yr old babysitter took a scrapbooking course in high school. I am so old.
Work is work, pluggin' along. Finally, feeling like my head is above water. It feels great to almost have this first year of teaching at a new school under the belt.
Elizabeth and I are going to church. We are loving it. So happy to be able to give her a spiritual background. We send our kids to school for everything else, why not religion? At least she will be armed with knowledge to make a choice for herself.
And.....we bumped into her birth father at CVS. Totally unexpected after four years of no contact. I thank God for giving me the strength and that's about all I can say about that one.
The picture above is me giving in to picnik and having a little fun! Sigh....its nice to be back! xoxo

The Aquarium

2010-02-19T06:06:00.001-08:00

Our aquarium trip was probably one of the most bitter days in New
England. We had a total blast. The train ride alone would have been enough for Jude. I think he was in shock for most of it. I think the seals out front are my favorite part. I could watch them forever. They are so sweet. When their heads poke above the surface and those big brown eyes are staring back at you, your heart melts. It was so cold we didn't last long. The sea jellies were beautiful. It was so dark. The whole aquarium is so dark. It truly is like being under water. We just wondered around with no agenda. Such a gift. We met up with my bestest bud and her family. My six year old was enthralled with her two year old. She and Jude are just a month a part. (future prom dates!) Elizabeth is a babysitter in training. Already, such a natural with the little ones. We were even able to all go to lunch together. Impromptu is not in my vocabulary anymore. It could not have been planned. It was the first time in about 6 months my best friend and I were out together. Jude could barely keep his eyes open on the train ride home.
This week, I have been on vacation. A Staycation as the world calls it now. My niece was with us this week. Only one major incident involving a kitchen knife. But no one was hurt. Trips to the pool, lots of Barbie, dress-up, read alouds, grilled cheese, snow, hot chocolate. Some much needed down time had by all. I was able to join a gym! I have gone everyday since I joined week ago. I hope I can keep it up when I go back to work. Instead of sitting my fat a@* on the couch at night, I go to the gym. It is at a local college, so I am getting a lot of inspiration from the students. Ahhh to be 20 again!

Dear Blog.....

2010-02-12T15:12:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I wonder why I even got you into this. I was convinced I would be a committed blogger. But I am definitely afraid of commitment. At first, I want to hang out all the time. But after a few weeks, our rendez-vous become less frequent. Eventually, the dwindle to almost never. Its not that I don't love you. I had great ambitions that we would be doing this everyday. Next week I am on vacation and I am hoping to spend some more quality time with you. But right now I have to get ready for a date ; )

My First Place

2010-02-04T16:19:00.001-08:00

So we are driving to a friend's house today and happen to drive right past my first place. You know, the place you get after you graduate from college. Your very first place. It was a bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen. It was bliss. In a big old victorian. I could walk to the cool downtown coffee shop, movie theater, **cough** pub. No one to answer to. No place to be. Freedom! Elizabeth stated she would like to live there. Ha! I laughed. I informed her that I lived there when I was 19 years old. A long time ago.....before I had children. I didn't even have a cell phone or computer. Can you imgagine? I just listened to music, read books, painted my boyfriends toenails on the front porch. It has been so long since I have thought of this place. I have almost forgotten about it. Luckily, Elizabeth shouting 'MOM!' from the back seat snapping me out of my pleasant daydream. Get back to reality, geesh. Now my idea of bliss is Elizabeth earning 10 stars for her chart so we can go on a special family outing of her choice. Guess where.....Chuck E Cheese. I think if there was a hell on Earth, it would be this place. But she LOVES it. I have no idea why. Maybe if they served booze for the parents it would help numb the pain.

A Smigden

2010-01-30T10:14:00.000-08:00

Oh it has been so long since I have had a chance to get here. I have been thinking about it daily. We were hit hard with the tummy bug last weekend. Actually Jude started on Thursday. Friday Elizabeth and I fell. Then Sunday it was daddy's turn. We were miserable. Elizabeth's best line "I don't even feel a smidgen good mommy, not even a little!" Ah from the mouth of babes. We were hunkered down together taking turns puking. Mu husband is a saint and stayed up with us all night. Not that we need any more details.
This week was also my parent-teacher conferences at school. I kinda love conferences. I am a total teacher-dork at heart. Its so great to deliver progress reports. My kids in class are doing great. So its easy for me to sit and boast about them.
Our new babysitter started this week too. Elizabeth and Jude love her. She is a sweetheart. Friday was her first full day. When I came home from work my house, GULP, was spotless. She totally cleaned. I almost cried. Then Richard and I hit the town last night. We made it to 11pm. Woo-hoo! It was nice to get out and hear live music.
So the precious little baby blanket posted above is a project I am trying to get the courage to start. I actually have a few folks in my life who are pregnant. Jude's daycare provider is one of them. Thought this would be a nice token of our appreciation. Just having an excuse to yarn shop is inspiration enough.
We are off to the aquarium tomorrow. I can't wait. It has been too long since we have had a family outing. And, we are taking the subway into the city. Jude is going to flip! My little man. Hopefully, I will get a chance to take some great pics.

Tubby Time

2010-01-19T15:38:00.001-08:00

I know, we probably shouldn't put pictures of our kids in the tub on the internet. Do you have DSS on speed dial? We used to live in an apt that had only a really cool stone shower. We loved it but it was not great for our then 2 year old daughter. So we bought this cool wash tub. It was super retro and cute. We tubbed her in it for a year or two. Now its our favorite container to store adult beverages in for bbq's. I took all these really great photos of her covered in bubbles in the cool steel tub. They, of course, were from my film days and are collecting dust in a photo album. She wanted to recreate the look a year or so ago. A bit older requiring more suds. The other day, I realized I need to take the same embarrassing photos of Jude. He is not such a fan of the suds. Such a handsome guy.

From the Mouth of Babes

2010-01-11T16:14:00.000-08:00

Elizabeth joined me during my 100 push-up challenge. We were head to head, pushing away. Then we switched to sit-ups. We stretched and went back to push-ups. As we finished she says "OK, mom now its time to practice our splits!" I am laughing as I am typing this. If you know me, you know splits are definitely not a strong point of mine. She has now decided to be my coach. Rather, a push-up tyrant. She is a gym teacher in the making. I think I will buy her a whistle. If you need a little tough love in the work out department, come to my house, Elizabeth will get you in shape! I am thankful for her motivation. But I am finding her a little intense! She's 6 yrs old by the way....

Day Three....

2010-01-10T16:37:00.000-08:00

This is a rest day for the push up challenge. And! I am not sore. Love it! Found myself doing major portion control at dinner tonight. Jude and I split a baked potato. I ate the end of the meatloaf. I piled high the broccoli. When I shopped this week, I made sure to stock the house with appropriate munchies.....nuts, dried fruit, rice cakes. I know these snacks will satisfy me as soon as I get the crave for junk out of my system. My vitamin supplements are a big help. They are pricey and I can not always afford them. But when I can, they rock. They proved me with mood enhancers, stress blockers, appetite management. I have given them the name 'crack-in-box.' ;0)

100 Push-up Challenge Day Two

2010-01-09T16:27:00.000-08:00

Day two of my 100 push-up/200 sit-up challenge. For the push-ups you are supposed to skip a day. I started Thursday and let me tell you I am still hurtin'. There should be some sort of warning on the website about how sore you will be. Friday morning I couldn't even pick up a piece of paper never mind my 35 lb son. Today I am sore but feel comfortable behind the wheel again. Seriously, day one made me super shaky. It only solidified how out of shape I am. I just completed day two and accomplished 26 push-ups! I am on my own routine of sit-ups and managed 80! I thought I would take a picture of my arm as part of the experiment. Lets see where I am in 3 weeks which is half way and again at 6 weeks, the end. Even holding up the camera was a challenge. So there is a picture of my old, flabby arm. We were **blah** at the mall this afternoon. I tried on a pair of the sketcher shape-ups. I am kinda obsessed. The original shoe is called MBT. They are supposed to work your core. A friend of my has had a pair for a couple of years. But she is in fabulous shape already and a peanut. The sneakers officially make me about 6'2". So the sketchers brand run around $100. The MBT's are around $250. Probably the ugliest shoes I have ever seen. There marketing is clever. "Get a work out with out even stepping into a gym." I'm in! As soon as I can afford it. Champagne taste, beer pocket....

Upswing

2010-01-07T17:14:00.000-08:00

I finally feel like I am on an upswing. I am ready to take charge of my life or me rather. As a full time teacher, mother of two, and wife, I let myself go. Which is easy this time of year. In summer, I am eating healthier, running every morning, hittin' the beach with kids....not working! Fall and winter hit me like a ton of bricks this year. Running around like a mad woman trying to fit it all in. I have gained a pant size since I started teaching again....blech! I was almost down to my goal size this summer. I have no idea how much I weigh. I can't really put it in perspective being a 6' tall girl. Two kids later and on the younger side of 33, I am officially struggling with my weight. It sucks. It is so much easier to give in and stuff my face. I have a birthday celebration with my students at least twice a month. Which means cupcakes or brownies or.....Things you would never eat on a daily basis. But that is over today. The new leaf has been turned. Six months to beach season. I am starting the hundred push challenge tonight. and adding crunches to it. The hubby is working late tonight. Which I am happy about. The kiddos were put to bed and I soaked in a tub for awhile. Sunk myself underwater and had a pep talk. Not the most exciting post but I needed to get it out there. Now it is on record. Wish me luck!

Our Winter Wonderland

2010-01-05T17:00:00.001-08:00

Our backyard is the best. It comes complete with a stream, climbing trees, sledding hill, tree frogs, wildflowers, a slip and slide runway, rocks to turnover, and snow fortresses. I have always loved playing in the snow. Elizabeth is right there with me. We were sledding, building snowman, hiking up the mountain, kicking back under a snow covered tree. Just when I think I am a total beach bum and want to move someplace warm, we get hit with a snowstorm like this. Maybe its my German blood or the fact my mother used to push me out the door with the dog at the crack of dawn. In either case, I could spend hours in the snow. My hubby is the same way. We took turns playing with Elizabeth and my niece because Jude was not so psyched about the snow. He a bit of a delicate fleur. My sweet little boy. He spent most of the time trying to play with he cement mixer in the snow. I'm sure in another year he will be up to speed. I love the way it is so quiet in the snow. Magical. Like we are in a different world. It feels so surreal in our yard. Not sure if the pictures can capture that....

One Man's Trash.....

2010-01-01T15:39:00.000-08:00

Today I had one of my neurotic cleaning fits where I empty the contents of a room and throw crap away. The victim today was the basement. I carry around a couple of bins of stuff. Important stuff like my rocks I gathered when I canoed the Allagash or a bag full of super 8 film that I, someday, am going to sew into a cool dress. You know, stuff. My husband has a few boxes.....5. So I dragged them upstairs and had him sort through them. I found my long lost cd collection with a very rare Ray Lamontagne bootleg I thought I had lost. A certain friend in Maine will be receiving a copy soon, I promise! I out did myself and emptied 5 plastic tubs of stuff. Now we only have one each. I loaded up the jeep and Elizabeth and I hit the road to Salvation Army. I thought for sure they would be closed but alas they where open. As I pulled around back to the Donation Center there was a huge pile of other people's stuff waiting to be sorted. I don't know what is wrong with me but when I see a pile of free stuff, I think there's gotta be something in there I need. I adverted my eyes as Elizabeth and I unloaded. I would not look at....wait is that a perfectly good toboggan? Wow, huge hula-hoops, I have been looking for one of those! Two identical sleds for the upcoming snow storm! Alright, I was psyched now. But I knew I had to be strong and not take anything. Now I am the proud owner of two sleds....but that's all I promise! Anyways, it led to a cool conversation with Elizabeth using the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure." An complex concept for a six year old. Even though I drag her through vintage store after vintage store, she does not differentiate between old and new. Cool, I like that.

Me & My Girl

2009-12-30T16:17:00.000-08:00

It is crazy to think this girl came into my life 6 and 1/2 yrs ago. We braved the world alone just the two of us. Her birth father has never been reliable. (this is not the hubby I talk about here.) She has not seen him in over 4 years. ANYWAYS!!!!! We seem to have this unspoken language....I know she's got my back. She will pack up and split with me if she s*&t hits the fan. She is an old soul. She has seen a thing or two. I worked like a dog just to keep us afloat for the first year of her life. When I came through the door after working a double at a local clam shack, she was just getting up for her late night bottle. I would light some candles, dim the lights, and put on Norah Jones. I can recall those nights like it was yesterday. She was my strength. So here we are on Christmas together. Two peas in a pod. Love her.......

New Years Resolution

2009-12-29T17:09:00.000-08:00

Well the fact is I don't have one. Never have, never will. I am the kinda girl who has no regrets. If I did, I would be balled up in a corner crying my life away. I have had some crazy times. I have done some crazy things. All of which have led me up to this point in time. Too many people say life is too short. I believe life is too long. So my New Years will be snuggled up with the hubby,Chinese food, and catching up on Season 5 of LOST. I know so boring but exactly where I want to be. Never been a sucker for New Years Eve but Valentines Day on the other hand........

Just us....

2009-12-28T16:10:00.000-08:00

Christmas Eve was such a dream. We were able to kick it at home all day just the four of us. My husband and I were actually able to sit down and chat over a glass of wine and cheese and crackers. It was a complete delight. Dinner was rack of lamb which we spent way too much money on....but my brother insisted I make it special. The kids totally gobbled it up. My parents and big brother swung by for a quick Christmas Eve dose of the kiddos. Our dear friend stopped by with two perfect gifts for the kids to open. I was always allowed to open one gift Christmas Eve. I try to keep the tradition alive by having the kids open their Christmas pj's. They were definitely not as cool as our friends gift. I think it was an awesome start to a new tradition. We were actually able to see the rest of the family Christmas day and the day after Christmas. I don't think it could have gone any better. My photographs are my attempt of using a digital slr on the manual setting. I love the light it captures instead of being totally blown out with a flash. But some of the pics are a bit shaky, blurry, etc.

A Family Gathering

2009-12-22T16:34:00.000-08:00

We were supposed to see my Aunt, Uncle, and cousins this past Saturday but my aunt was sick so we rescheduled. My mom and brother had prepared tons of food so we decided we would all still get together. I love what transpired as a result. A typical Davis gathering.....good food, good spirits, and good dancing. I let Elizabeth use my camera so you will see a mix of her style in the photographs. However, I can not take credit for the picture of the vodka bottle wearing the santa hat.
So happy my big brother is in town. Now the holidays feel complete. I think my shopping is done or I just think I have bought enough stuff. Tomorrow is my last day of work until January 4th. I am definitely in need of some rest and relaxation.

Christmas Eve Service

2009-12-17T19:25:00.001-08:00

I can't even remember the last time I went to Christmas Eve service at Second Congregational. The memory of attending these services are wrapped around my heart. Being the baby of the family, I always felt like I missed out on all the good stuff. My cousins and brothers were thick as thieves. I always watched them head out the door as I was heading to bed. But Christmas Eve Service was the one thing I was allowed to do that was considered 'grown-up.' I don't think it was just the service itself that made a lasting impression. Even though 'our church' at night was truly amazing. Rev. Wright preaching his sermon by candlelight as shadows danced across the walls. I always watched my mother during this service. She loved it. She loved to belt out 'Joy to the World.' I can never listen to that song without hearing her voice singing "and heaven and nature sing..." I loved to nestle up her next to her and hold her hand. Which was a rare occasion. And of course, the end of the service would be just voices and candles singing 'Silent Night.' Low lights would come up and we would all wish each other 'Merry Christmas.' So cool, so miss it....and so I will go this year....sit in the dark.....and be moved by the Christmas Spirit.

Happy Photographs

2009-12-15T17:26:00.001-08:00

Asking for what you want

2009-12-14T16:21:00.000-08:00

I was recently at a birthday party for a dear friend of ours. Santa Claus was there. My two year old fell in love. Not only did he scream "Santa Claus" about a zillion times, he ran over and held him. Yes, held him. He just wrapped his arms around him and held Santa. It was uncanny to say the least. At that moment, I realized what an impact Christmas had on this little guy. I decided we were going to stay home Christmas Eve. We usually travel Christmas Eve to see family. We get home just in time to eat dinner, leave cookies out for Santa and then off to bed. I knew this was not going to be well received by the family. I am lucky enough to work with a group of amazing women. We have devotions every morning together. So with a heavy heart I headed to our daily devotions. I sobbed as I told them how I felt like I had started trouble with my decision. My brilliant boss told me "asking for what you want is not starting trouble." This year, I am asking for my family to be together in our home for Christmas Eve. I feel like I can take a deep breath. Phew, that being said.....I came home with the kids in tow to find our Christmas tree on the floor. HA! Ornaments shattered everywhere. I have had some of these ornaments for 10 years. It was actually kinda funny. I managed to laugh it off. And, I got to decorate the tree with the salvaged ornaments. The kids wanted nothing to do with it. So I brewed myself a cup of tea, turned on my fav, Ray Lamontagne, and decorated. This Christmas go ask for what you want....you heard me, now go!

A Charlie Brown Christmas Tree

2009-12-12T16:58:00.000-08:00

So I have been hiding out for the past couple of weeks. I actually have been looking for my Christmas Spirit. I have checked all the usual places; in between the cushions of the couch, in the dryer, under the bed. Maybe it was delivered to my neighbors house by mistake and now they have a double dose of Christmas Spirit. This would explain why every inch of their house is covered in lights. Bah-Humbag is not my style. So I am accepting my fate this year and giving in to a little grinch-ness. I guess we are all entitled to it once. I did, however, shop for about 6 hours today, ALONE. It was great. I just wandered around stores sipping a latte. People all around me were frantically trying the find the perfect gift. Well I will tell you my perfect gifts were at home patiently waiting to decorate our tree. The one we picked our yesterday that is lopsided and has a big hole. I am a sucker for a Charlie Brown Christmas tree. It reminds me of my favorite Christmas growing up. It was the year we decided to go away to Maine and ski for Christmas. My brother hiked through huge snows to cut us down a tree. We made all the ornaments. We listened to music on an 8 track player. It was the best. So this year, I decided to sit back and let the hubby and the kids decorate. Just like my mother always did. I never understood why but now I do.

Thankful

2009-11-29T10:31:00.000-08:00

I am thankful for this day. The day I married my husband. We actually met when I was 8 and he was 17 years old. We were reunited 20 years later at a music gig of a mutual friend. My husband was my camp counselor at a nature camp when I was a little girl. I have such fond memories of him. I remember waiting on his every word. He would drag us through fields searching for butterfly's. He taught me how to spark wintergreen lifesavers in the dark. Not much has changed in 20 years. We still act like a couple of kids. This leads me to my list of thankfuls.
I am thankful for his family. I am thankful for their laughter and hugs. I am thankful his father hosted Thanksgiving. I am thankful my brother-in-law made his stuffed dates. I am thankful my kids were so well behaved. I am thankful my brother and his girlfriend were there. I am thankful I didn't have to cook. I am thankful my dad and I got to play wii tennis together.(first time for both of us!) I am thankful my camera stayed in its bag and I just chilled. I am thankful my mom and dad gave us an early birthday present and we are headed to Boston overnight next weekend. I am thankful my family all sat at one table and shared a meal. I am thankful that I am in love.......

This kid hasn't got a chance

2009-11-20T16:52:00.000-08:00

This picture tells it all. Elizabeth posed perfectly for the camera while Jude is still trying to figure out what just happened. I never realized how much I actually did *cough* do for my first born. You can spot a first child a mile away. Or in my case, an inch from my camera lens before the lens cap even comes off. My super hip college friend did a little comparison of when your baby becomes a toddler here.
http://mygeekbaby.com/
So I thought I would do a little comparison of my own between the first and second child.

You know your the second child when.....

1. You can only find one picture of you dressed up for Halloween and you are already four years old in the picture. (oh and its a hand-me-down costume) You older sibling has at least a dozen per Halloween from birth.

2. When you binky falls on the floor your mother simply picks it up, magically blows the germs off with her breath and pops it back in your mouth.

3. All of your clothes are hand-me-downs with some one's name on the tag that you don't even know AND you are wearing your sisters old winter coat. You are a boy and its pink.

4. Your socks don't match. (and they are pink)

5. You need a hair cut so mom puts her hair-cutting skills to work.

6. Only a fraction of your diet is organic and you had peanut butter BEFORE you turned two. **GASP**

7. Your diaper is always full and dragging on the ground.

8. You have eaten dirt....a lot!

9. Your mother and father have no idea when your last bowel movement was.

10. Your parents are comfortable leaving you with a babysitter they find on Craigslist.

11. You are left in your crib to cry ***pause*** you are left to cry.

12. You can play by yourself.

Second Child, you are a well adjusted person in the world. Forced to be a problem solver from birth because we know your parents are doing it for you. You will happily play whatever game your older sibling would like to play. Whether it be to get a little extra attention or just to shut them up. You have a strong immune system because lets face it, your parents aren't watching you like a hawk and you just ate some old food off the floor. You are always in multiple layers cuz you know its cold in the shadow of that over-indulged older sibling. And why can I say any of these things? Because I am the baby of the family!

"Not right now sweetie, Mommy is blogging"

2009-11-17T15:18:00.000-08:00

There are not very many photos of me in the world that I like. Always behind the camera snapping photos instead of in front. Like everyone else, I instantly start critiquing myself.....I have such a big face, look at all the wrinkles, my eyes are bloodshot..etc, etc. One of my co-teachers, however, snapped this one of me at the Eric Carle Museum AND I kinda like it.

Maybe it was the smell of paint in the air. Or it could be that I was in my element, crawling around in a child size piece of furniture. Maybe it was the fact that I was at a Museum, two hours from home, and completely kid-free.

So at this moment in time, the kids are running around like total crazy monkeys and I just wanted to blog. So I gave them free reign of the upstairs in order to just steal a moment on the computer. ( a moment in my world equals about 5-10 minutes) Hence the post title for today. Peace

Jude's Party

2009-11-15T15:36:00.000-08:00

This is actually Jude's precious smile. When you ask him to smile, he scrunches his
face all up. It looks like he is crying but it is absolutely adorable.

Ah, the boys.....thanks to my best bud of almost 20 years (yikes!). She snapped this awesome photo of Jude and my hubby. I mean this in the nicest way possible but I have never managed to get a good photo of this guy. I pride myself on taking a good photo and should be able to after four years of art school. So, I am thankful the kink in my neck kept me from getting behind the lens.

My white pumpkin which I never had the courage to carve. Jude wore the crown for about um 2 seconds. It actually looks adorable on the pumpkin. Kinda brings him to life. Notice the construction themed party paraphernalia. Yes, we are in total boy world. Jude is quick to point out any construction vehicle on our car rides. I notice myself saying 'dump truck' 'backhoe' 'crane', when I am alone in the car.

Each year we make some sort of crazy cake for the kiddos. Another blessing of the kink in the neck is I was out of commission for cake making. So, alas, we had a Carvel Ice Cream Cake! Much to my husbands disappointment, the kids LOVED it. It was so super stress-less going this route. I highly recommend it.

This is one of our bestest friends. He is awesome. He has an incredible voice. INCREDIBLE VOICE. If you have not had a chance to see this guy here is his info....
www.ronmurphylive.com
He plays the Top of the Hub is Boston. If you can get there you should! He also married us ; )

So I have been SUPER cranky this week. A brisk walk on the beach this morning helped. Looking forward to the week ahead. I am trying to get the creative juices flowing. It is coming a little slow for me this year. Maybe I just haven't found the right crafting project yet?

Free Hugs

2009-11-11T17:02:00.000-08:00

This gives me goosebumps every time I watch it. This is why I am thankful we live in a free country......

The Graduate

2009-11-09T16:20:00.000-08:00

I finally finished my on-line classwork. This has been about a 6 month project. I was taking classes to receive my CDA certificate. Which stands for Child Development Associate. Four classes in total and my GPA is a 4.0. I love that after 32 years on the planet, I can officially be called a straight A student. I'm not sure I learned anything new but I will have a shiny CDA certificate that says I know some stuff about kids. Also, I am actually paying for these courses (note the present tense 'paying'). I think this was motivation alone.

I am more happy to report that I can finally begin on my crafting endeavors which have taken a major backseat. Last year I was able to make everyone at least on handmade gift. I don't know about y'all but I do not like just giving stuff. Wandering stores aimlessly just buying stuff. I adore my parents philosophy which is they do not want any gift they can not consume. This has inspired my husband and I to make limoncello every year. Its become a tradition for us the day after thanksgiving. My Martha mag just came in the mail. I think I am going to teach myself to felt. Looks like a great way to outlet the sculptor in me. Actually, its really just an excuse to go to AC Moore and buy some new goodies. So hopefully, by this weekend, I will be able to post some cool felting ideas......

This Guy

2009-11-07T08:48:00.000-08:00

See this little guy? He is my big birthday boy, Jude. Today he is two years old. I feel like he has been on this planet forever! An old soul to say the least. A 10.5 lb baby at birth. Yes, I did it naturally with no drugs. If it was not for my amazing husband and midwife, I would not have made it through. He was born blue with the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck. The nurses were joking as they put him on the scale...."how much do you think this one weighs..!" I remember watching Richard count all his fingers and toes. A completely surreal moment in my life. He was stubborn baby, two weeks late. We could not agree on a name and then one day we said at the same time, how bout Jude. Love it. He is such a Jude.
Jude is a laid back soul like his papa. He moves to the beat of his own drum. Whether there is a song on or not he likes to groove. A true snuggle bug. He LOVES the outdoors. A boy through and through. He spends hours turning over rocks and searching for wiggly creatures. He doesn't like it when you drive too fast or play loud music in the car. He is a bit of an old curmudgeon that way. He loves his sister and calls her 'Bits.' Even though he can say Elizabeth this is his pet name for her. He in a social butterfly. He has the biggest blue eyes you ever did see. A complete love bug.
I woke up this morning with a kink in my neck. I actually called my mom on the phone crying like a baby. But thanks to my father in law, I have managed to control the pain with some muscle relaxers. I am twitching at how messy my house is for company coming. But what can I do? I don't think anyone will realize how dirty it is and the dust bunnies will make friends : ) I think this post may sound a little loopy from the pain killers but oh well....

2009-11-03T07:34:00.000-08:00

Do you know who this man is? This is Ray Lamontagne. I am slightly obsessed with all things Ray. He is an amazing musician and just moves me. He is singer song writer who gave up his life as a shoe maker when hearing the Stephen Stills song Tree top flier. Can you imagine standing up at your place of work and saying "I'm sorry, I'm going to have go now because I realize my true calling is to sing and write songs, bye." Amazing. He is a bit of a tortured soul as all true artists tend to be. He spent many years developing and finding his voice. Apparently he has smashed many guitars out of frustration. When he preforms he can barely look at the audience. Bashful would be an understatement. He resides in on a 300 acre farm in Maine with his family, smoking pipes and fixing up old type writers. A man after my own heart. I have seen him about a dozen times over the past 6 years. I decided to pass on seeing him on his latest tour. I figured I would never get as close to him as I have in the past. Well last night a friend of mine was giving up her tickets.....2nd row for tomorrow night. I realize now fate has a strong part in finding these tickets for me. Or at least that it was I am telling myself. I will consider it an early Christmas present to myself (and Ray.) I have actually had the opportunity of meeting him twice. But I will leave those stories for another time.......

My Cherubs

2009-11-02T17:06:00.000-08:00

plural usually cherubs a : a beautiful usually winged child in painting and sculpture. Or photograph as the case may be. There they are....Elizabeth and Jude. Decked out for all Hallow's Eve. I don't even know where the Wonder Woman idea came from for this year. It is not as if we are having Wonder Woman marathons over here. But alas, she was clear that this was the outfit. Hey, at least it is not a princess! And somewhere along the way, someone told me whatever the second choice is in a question is what a toddler will pick. "Jude do you want to be a lion or dog?" asks mom. "Dog" replies Jude. "Jude would like to be a dog or a lion?" asks mom. "Lion" replies Jude. Try it with your little one, it totally works!

The Ice Breaker

2009-11-01T16:32:00.000-08:00

Am I interesting enough to start my own blog?
Who knows.....But I am risk taker and exhibitionist at heart.
So starting a blog seemed like a natural step for me.
I have a good friend who always has great one liners and I have to give her credit where it is due for the blog title.
When my sweet little 10.5 lb baby, Jude, was born she said this to me...
"Its just enough to make you crazy."
I was sleep deprived, stinky, living on my couch, and twitching just a bit.
Almost two years later,
I find my self spreading this bit of wisdom on to other mothers who are at their wits end.
I find it an instant bonding bit of advice.
It reminds us that we are not alone as mothers.
And sometimes its just enough...
Peace